Sizzle.

Yesterday it took me five hours to make one blog post. Today it took me 12 hours to make one YouTube video. Blowing the dust off of this skill has been more difficult than I thought it was going to be. I spent a lot of time today trying to find the right vibe.

It's hard to build a brand when the brand is you and you're still unsure of who you are and what you want. Story of my freaking life. However, I've decided that I am allowed to make wrong decisions. I'm allowed to just do things and learn from them. It sounds like a normal human thing, but you'd be surprised on how many normal human things I refuse to let myself experience.

Today I got up at 9:59 which means I'm one for one on the wake up before 10 am goal. I got up and immediately went for a walk around the block. Then I made breakfast, recorded a video, and edited that video for hours. I was supposed to unpack a box. Did I technically do that? Hard to say. Are there less boxes in my house today than there were yesterday? Yes. 

I vlogged my morning for a reel but didn't have the chance to edit it. That's fine though. Ideally, I was going to post a reel every day, but I definitely did not want to commit myself to that. So, we are going to do it when we can. The point of this week is to get back into the habit and actually try.

I don't think I've tried in a while. Trying as hard. Caring is hard, especially when you care as much as I do. I care about shit that doesn't even matter. It's really difficult sometimes, but I am choosing something new and different. No one tells me who I am or what I get to be, especially not my self-doubt. That bitch is a lying whore.  

Anyway, I am 67.5% done exporting the third or fourth iteration of the same damn video because I need things to be good. No one would really notice there was just something off with my title card, but I noticed. It took me a few tries to fix it, but it's better now; and I added a few things that made it even cuter. 

With all the effort and work I put in today, it's crazy how much time I've been wasting. I suppose it's not wasting if I'm resting and recovering. I am on my way to regulating my body a little bit better and taking the time that I need to recover when I overexert myself. I need to be setting myself up better so I can handle more things. 

This week is giving reset and I'm here for it. Stay tuned because there is an excessive heat warning and yo girl is ready to sizzle.